One Day I Will Show You

One day I will show you. I will show you what I mean. I will show you all the things that you think divide us actually don’t. I will show that people are worth something. I will show you that this world is worth something. I will show you that love, kindness, forgiveness, and the use, acceptance, and pursuit of those things are worth something. I will show you that women are worth something. I will show you that education, common sense, intelligence, understanding and the use acceptance and pursuit of those things are worth something. I will show you that religion, faith, or the belief in something beyond the physical is worth something. I will show you that there is still good in this place and in people, and that that is worth a lot.

One day I will show you. I want to show you that the people you think are your enemies aren’t.  I want to show you that not everyone who says they are something means they are like everyone else. I want to show you that not everyone who is a Christian is like what you think they are. I want show you that not everyone who is a Christian is mean, judgmental or out to harm others. I want to show you that not everyone who says they are a Muslim is a terrorist, not everyone who says they are an atheist wants to kill babies, likes hittler or even knows what socialism is. I want to show you that every person is different. I want to show you that I am different. I want you to know I am not like anyone you could compare me too. I want you to be surprised by me. I want to change your mind for the better about what means to be a man, husband, friend, Christian, son, brother, and human being.

One day I will show you. I should have showed you more when we all were younger. Show you what it means to respect others with your words. Show you what it means to disagree but still find a way to say I love you, and actually mean it. I should have gone farther out of my way to respect you. To respect who you were, to respect who you are. I should have showed you how to truly forgive someone, how to decide that no matter what another person does to you, you have already decided to be at peace with it. I want to show you how to forgive that person that you won’t. I want to show you how to love that person differently than you have loved them before. I want to show you that maybe the relationship you had with them will never be like it was, and to be okay and at peace with that. I want to show you that no matter what has happened in the past, every sunrise brings a new day. I want to show you that no matter what you are carrying, there are those around you who want to help share the burden. I want to show you that we are not all heading for a dead end. I want to show you that hope still flies.

One day I will show you. I will show you that we can do better than this. We can do better than yesterday, and every day before that. I want to show you that there are so many of us who want to do, be and become better. Not just as individuals, but as a whole. As a family, friends, neighbors, and as humanity all together, so many of us believe we can be better than we have been. I want to show you that family is worth swallowing your pride for. I want to show you that the hurt you feel by the wrongs you have been dealt can be healed. I want show you that relationships need fixed, even if you are the only one patching the holes. I want to show you that sometimes the other person will let you down, won’t walk the mile with you, and won’t meet you halfway. Sometimes you will be the only one being and doing better. But even if you are the only one, that doesn’t mean you are alone. I want to show you that I will help you patch holes, lift you up, walk every mile with you, meet you well before half way and help you do better; even if the other person won’t. I want to show you that there are others who would say and do the same. I want to show you how we are all in the same boat, how very much alike we are.  I want to show you that we don’t have to be perfect to do what we are supposed to do. We don’t have to be perfect to love others wholly and completely. We don’t have to be perfect to forgive or be forgiven. We don’t have to believe others are perfect in order to love and be in communion/community with them. There is no bar we need to rise to in order to take care of, be with/around, or to have a relationship with others. I want show you that no matter what you think another person has done, I think they worth perfection. I think we all are worth perfection, even when we don’t show it and especially when we don’t deserve it.

One day I will show you. I will show you all the things I have mentioned and more. There are so many things I want to show you, so many things that I believe are worth so much. I just hope that as I show you these things, you will look.

Matthew 7:21-23

So I was thinking about Matthew 7:21-23 as I was driving into work today. I was thinking about what Jesus would say to us here in America, in this time, if he was here in person now. I think it might go something like this:

21 Not every one that says to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not vote strictly republican or at least strictly anti-democrat in thy name, and by thy name cast out all those who were not naturally born citizens, and by thy name did we not stop the queers from being officially labeled as married by the government, and by thy name do many mighty conservative works?

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

This passage in it's original context did not speak about the evil sinners getting rejected, it was those who thought they were doing good things for God. I think our reasons and justifications have changed, but I think God's answer will still be the same, "I don't know you". Maybe, just maybe, we are focusing on the wrong part of this whole Christian thing. Maybe, instead of trying to live like we have everything to lose and trying to do all these things in Jesus name and using him as our line in the sand, we should be living like we have already won and figuring out how to get to know Jesus and how to introduce others to him.  Just a thought I had this morning.

A Fun Writing Assignment for Class

The following conversation took place in the mind of one Seth Hock on the evening of January 27, 2012.

Interviewer: Mr. Hock, thank you for taking the time to sit down with yourself and share your opinion about the assignment due for Intro to Clinical Psychology. The question we are all dying to have answered is this, are human beings more alike or are they more different from one another?

Seth Hock: Well, it really depends on a lot of different variables, but the short answer is… yes.

Interviewer: Could you elaborate a little further on the variables you are referring to?

Seth Hock: The question of whether human beings are more alike or more different from one another is like asking if fruit is more different from or similar to other fruit. At first glance, you might point out that there are many diverse species of fruit with many different shapes, sizes, colors, smells and tastes. Yet, fruit often has many like qualities which includes, to the chagrin of ethnofruitaious advocates, shapes, sizes, colors, smells and tastes. For instance, if an apricot, peach and nectarine were presented to the average person, they may not be able to tell the difference. Even after tasting each one, it might be difficult to differentiate them. They are each different in their own way, but they are also very similar. Humans are the same way; often the border lines of human similarities are so blurred at the societal level that distinctions become difficult to interpret.

Interviewer:  Did you say ethnofruitaious?

Seth Hock: It’s not in Webster’s yet, but give it time.

Interviewer: This example seems to make sense, but perhaps the elephant in the room is that fruit doesn’t have anything nearly as complex as culture to define it. Surely humans, in their seemingly endless imaginations, have created cultures that would obviously highlight very easily definable categories.

Seth Hock: This is a good point. For instance, our western culture here in the States is much more individualistic then many Asian or Middle Eastern cultures, which tend to be collectivist in nature. This difference may seem black and white when our cultures cross-examine each other. However, we aren’t really looking at the whole picture. Like the story of a little boy trying to explain why his baseball is now nested in a pile of broken glass and china pieces, we get the idea that something is missing. We could choose to focus on the individual or collective differences in these cultures, but something is being omitted from that example. If we go deeper we could ask if humans in the western hemisphere share similar gathering habits as those one the other side of the world. In the face of this new question we could answer yes, absolutely. Humans from New York to Beijing and from one pole to the other gather very similarly. Tribes and towns, cities and rural farming communities, and gigantic metro cities can all be found all over the world. Humans, for the most part, have a need to gather. On the largest levels human beings are generally very much the same.  Religion is the same way. There are so many different religions one could study; yet the bigger picture remains the same. People want to believe in something more than matter and the natural. This leads them to look for and believe in the intangible and the supernatural. In other words, while religion is diverse, faith isn’t . Like using a magnifying glass, the smaller the picture is, the more detail and diversity will show. The global population is our largest picture, and the individual is our smallest. Instead of trying to argue if we are more different or similar to others, we need to understand that our differences and similarities are interwoven or painted into a single pattern or canvas. We cannot separate or quantify our differences and similarities without removing or omitting part of this picture. This argument, much like the nature/nurture argument, is not about some arbitrary amount of evidence that can be gathered together to make a declarative statement about what matters most.  What matters is that we remember that the differences, or lack thereof, between and amongst people are both relative and subjective to the social backdrop in which it is being examined.  

Interviewer: This leads to the next question, as a student pursuing an occupation in clinical psychology, how would your view of the differences or similarities of humans effect how you would engage with people seeking treatment?

Seth Hock: As stated before, the individual is as small as we can magnify our lens in which we view humanity. There is no formula for the individual; she is the wild card that changes every pattern that we might hope to apply. When I encounter a new individual I immediately want to categorize her. This is not, in and of itself, a bad thing. Categories and schemas help us keep track and make sense of the millions of details we as humans have to remember every day.  However, this process is only so helpful before it becomes harmful, and that can happen in a hurry. While I want to simplify the individual, I have to remember that they are in some ways very similar, and in some ways very different from me and everyone else. This can be a cognitively difficult task. We like the dichotomic categories of nature or nurture and similar or different. However, I think it’s the clinical psychologist’s responsibility to keep in mind that she is both very similar and very different from her client at the same time. The difficult part is finding out what picture we are looking at. As I said, the individual has no guaranteed pattern. As a clinical psychologist, I would want to put the picture of the client together with her help instead of asking her to assume the picture of what I think she might be like.  With an accurate picture in place, our social backdrop defined, and the understanding that what makes us unique in some cases may camouflage us in others, we are better able to help those seeking treatment. I believe my view of culture would assist in my ability to become an effective clinical psychologist.

Interviewer: Very interesting, it’s almost like I knew you would answer that way. Well anyway, thank you again for sitting down with yourself and taking the time to answer these questions.

Seth Hock: It was my pleasure, thank you for the opportunity.

A New Year

Just so everyone knows we just rolled into town.

I want to say this…

          2011 has been one of the best and worst years of my life. I have received more than I deserve and nearly lost more than I could ever replace. I, out of exhaustion, fear, thankfulness, courage, and hope, welcome this New Year. Admittedly, it feels shaky, uncomfortable, and heavy being filled with the unknown. My life and the lives of so many people around me will change this year. New beginnings, births, families, homes and jobs, will all take place this year. Old enduring goals will finally be met, old wounds will be healed and old enemies will break bread in peace. Yet, even though I speak of these things as certainty, I have learned this last year that nothing is. Any or all of our plans for this year are susceptible to change, improve, or even disappear. I am learning to not be bothered by that, though; even with all that we stand to gain or lose, there is a calm surrounding this year. There is something, almost concrete enough to hold, floating in the looming presence of time to come. While we may be inclined to, in the grasp of superstition’s restraints and in the candle light of false hope, only whisper of it for fear of watching it spring away, evading us once forever; I am here, now, proclaiming it as ours. This idea that we hope for but rarely think we deserve, victory, is ours this year. I am claiming it and choosing to grow through it. I will not be dragged into defeat this year; I, and too many others are depending on success this coming year. I will keep carrying the fire, believing all is not lost and that we will and have already won. I believe we can be and do better than last year. All of us. I don’t care who you are, where you come from, what you believe, or where you are going; we can be better than what we have been. We will be better than what we have been. This is no New Year’s Resolution; this is a proclamation of success. We will meet our fears and uncertainties as they come, and with our resolve to overcome, backed by our families and friends from all walks of life, we will not be beaten. We can, together, face anything. We are, in our communities, bonds, faith, and determination, unbreakable.

One part of a song has continually ran through my head these past few days; I will end with it as a creed for this coming year.

Love is wild for reasons, and though hope is short in sight. It might be the only thing that wakes you by surprise.  – Jars of Clay